I didn’t mean it like that…

If you watch the news, you may have seen a recent story about National Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio and the interaction that took place between a registration person and a 4-year-old girl and her mom. When mom began telling the registration person that the reason they were at the hospital was because a 4-year-old boy hit her daughter on the playground, resulting in her requiring stitches, the person (in an effort to make the child feel better) said, “I bet he likes you.”

Now, I can’t speak for this person but I think he probably meant to say, “I am sure he didn’t mean to hurt you…” But, after 35,000 shares of the Instagram picture of the child, this story took a like of its own that no matter how young the parties involved, violence is unacceptable and condoning it – especially when you are in a children’s hospital – it is can never happen. 

There is a question in Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In book that asks, “Where do you sit when you walk into an empty room?” Always, my first instinct is to think about who else will be in the room and whether there will be enough chairs for everyone.

Whether intentional or not, if you invite people to a meeting and don’t account for everyone, when someone walks in without a seat – regardless of who they are or what position they hold – they feel like the outsider; forgotten, maybe even unvalued. No one would ever intentionally devalue a colleague, but the perception is much stronger than the intent. Once you start down the path of having to explain, you have already lost.

We have power every day. I’m not talking about power because of your title. We have the power to influence in ways that we don’t think about frequently.

A kind word or a harsh word; a smile versus a sneer.

Every interaction with someone else is a chance to show who you are and what you stand for. We are flawed people and we do occasionally make thoughtless comments. Sometimes, like in my case, your mouth works faster than your head. At the end of those times, it is what you do next that matters.

National Children’s Hospital publicly and privately thanked the Mom for coming forward with the issue and allowed them to improve her experience with them.

For us, when those moments happen, we need remember to pause, go back, and make it better – whether with a parent or a colleague. The silence, before it is remedied, tends to be the the thing that eats away at you, causing unnecessary stress and pain. Let’s proactively avoid that.