Let’s get real today. Have you ever noticed a nasty habit of
yours that you know you should curb, but thought “it’s not really a big
deal?: Then, someone you are interacting with does that exact same nasty habit
that you do and then all of a sudden you have an entirely new
perspective on what you thought was no big deal?
Following? Let me share…
Last week I was asked to go to Washington, DC for what was described
as a critical meeting between the
leadership of two national associations. There were five people from each
association, and then myself and another Board Member.
There had been some strains over the last couple of years
due to changes in leadership and staff. Nothing bad happened, but these
organizations had definitely lost their rhythm. This is a very big deal
in Washington because nothing gets done without a coalition of people.
So here we are at this meeting, discussing some pretty heavy
stuff and really trying to make some headway. Then what happens? All the
members on the other side of the table begin looking at their smartphones –
during the meeting!.
 |
| Disclaimer: NOT the people I was in a meeting with. |
Now the phones didn’t ring – or vibrate as far as I know. No
one began the meeting by saying they were waiting for an important phone call
that they’d have to take – they just decided that the conversation happening at
that moment did not require their full attention and that checking their email
(or Facebook – who knows what they were doing) was more important.
Now, this is something I am HUGELY guilty of. I admit it!
But, I am not sure I had ever been on the receiving end of this kind of
behavior, as I was at this meeting. And, it really got to me!
It was never my intent to offend anyone if I checked my
phone during a meeting, just as I am sure it wasn’t their intent to offend. Yet,
I had taken a three-hour train ride to be here for this critical meeting and their
behavior gave me the perception that my presence was not important enough for
them to put their phones away for two hours.
The meeting went ok and we finalized some next steps and a
game plan, but I couldn’t shake how annoyed I was – and frankly, still am. I
felt disrespected, but even more I reflected on my own behavior knowing that
it’s something I do.
I mean, I’ve stared down Governors and taken on Legislators
for our kids, and even though I was fired up with passion and determination,
this phone thing has left me feeling really shook up.
I often say that God gives you gifts when you least expect
it and sometimes you don’t see these lessons as gifts. Let me tell you, this
was a gift and a hard lesson for me.
So here is my apology
– if I answered emails when we were in a meeting together, I apologize. It was
never my intent to disrespect you. In no way do I want you to think whatever
was on my phone was more important than what was going on in person.
While I hope I will never do it again, please know that I am
on a journey to repair and improve. And there may be times when that nasty
habit slips back in, but I’m going to try my hardest to break it once and for
all!
So here is my question to you – have you ever seen someone
else do something and think, “oh my goodness, I do that,” but didn’t realize it
was a nasty habit until someone else did it? Or is there something you wish
someone would stop doing?
In the meantime – phones down and eyes up for me.
