Summer vacation, had me a blast

My July 4^th weekend was perfect – sun, fireworks, and even the perfect amount of rain to cool down the heat of the day. 

I really do love summer.

My mom was a teacher, so she had summers off. So, we would spend a lot of time together during the summer months. There was always something to do, and she was a great partner in crime.

Growing up, we always had a big garden, and Mom spent a lot of time canning – you know, preserving foods by putting it in sealed cans. I am not sure that she loved to can, or if it was that we were on a fixed income and it was the only way we got through the winter months. Regardless, it was fun.

She would can everything from vegetables to sauces, but my favorite of all were the jellies and jams. Why? Well, there is something so fun about picking the fruit for the jams!

I remember when I was little we would go strawberry or raspberry picking. It always ended up with me bleeding because I refused to wear long pants and would get beat up by the briers. My mom would create competitive games for me to see who could fill up the containers faster, which often led to green berries being picked just to get the numbers. There was no quality control until later, and she never specified they couldn’t be green!

These times have always been times that I cherish.

We always took a two-week vacation the first two weeks in August, when my Dad finished teaching summer school. We would go camping in Maine and stop to see family along the way.

My favorite part of the trip was visiting with my father’s aunt in Massachusetts. We would eat seafood and visit cousins (and there were a lot of them!). As an only child myself, watching the brother/sister dynamics between my dad and his sister was always fascinating.

Camping in a tent, on the other hand, was a love-hate kind of thing. We loved it because it was the only way we could afford the vacation. However, there was always a twist.

You can’t predict or control the weather, so that always created a tremendous challenge. I remember being stuck in torrential rainstorms one year for almost all of the two weeks. My father told me if I cried to go home my mother would give in.

There was also the dreaded walk to go to the bathroom in the middle of the pitch black night to the one-stall bathroom. It always seemed like a million miles away. 

The priceless part, and the most meaningful part of the trip, was the opportunity to spend time in a beautiful part of the country with two people who I still adore to this day. We had fun, regardless of the weather or how long the walk to the bathroom was.

Playing Memory and Clue to pass the time. Finding shells and picking mussels for dinner. All of these warm memories make it difficult to resist jumping in when I see the kids playing Memory in the gym today.

So, what is your favorite memory of the summer vacations you took as a kid? 

Toms River Superstar shines in the face of Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy affected a number of our employees. One employee in particular was left to rebuild her house while also managing her every day responsibilities as the OT supervisor at Lakehurst Road.

Did that stop Nichole Turmelle from going out of her way to help others? No way!

Nichole and her daughter, Ziesha

After Hurricane Sandy, the Foundation began fundraising efforts to help provide assistance through our Employee Crisis Fund to our employees who experienced damage to their homes. Nichole didn’t hesitate for a moment to share her story at radiothons and other local events.

She even put on a tutu with her daughter and participated in our Dance Dash 5k!

She is also one of those employees who recognizes important milestones for their colleagues. When Kimberly Malony (Foundation, Lakehurst Road) returned from her maternity leave, she was welcomed with a hand-knitted sweater for her son that Nichole had made for him.

Nichole’s thoughtfulness for her patients and their families, as well as her colleagues is apparent in everything that she does. We are so thankful that she is a part of the Children’s Specialized Hospital Family.

Do you know someone that should be recognized on Access Amy for something they’ve done at Children’s Specialized Hospital? I’d love to hear! Share below in the comments or send an e-mail to Megan Muller at memuller@childrens-specialized.org. 

The destructive side of self-talk

Some time ago I bought multiple copies of a book Lean In by Cheryl Sandburg. I shared those books with some of you I know well who I thought could benefit from the challenge.

I had one rule – don't give me the book back. Instead, I asked you to give it to someone you know well who would be interested in the message. I wrote about my reaction to the book in a previous post in 2013.

While there are a number of takeaways in the book, to summarize the biggest for me was the idea that you take yourself out of opportunities many more times than the situation would, preventing yourself from moving forward both personally and professionally. That is why this article about getting unstuck and asking for what you want struck a chord. 

The article is about Leyla Seka, a woman who was planning on leaving a software company because she had convinced herself she didn't fit the company’s profile for promotion. When she received a call from a headhunter of a competitor, it made her go to her boss and tell him she was thinking about leaving.

This happens more times than you would want or would think. Her boss had no idea that she was looking for a new position, and even told her he had just been discussing a big promotion for her – the one she thought she wasn't a fit for.

Ironic, isn't it? Her "self-talk" – those conversations you only have with yourself or with people who you think will agree with you – made her see the situation very differently than the reality of it.

The things I say to myself in self-talk are brutal; sometimes mean and almost always negative. I try very hard to focus on the positive when it comes to my perceived failures. I try to shake them off and move forward. But these self-talk thoughts are truthfully things I’d be embarrassed to say out loud to people.

Why do we do this?

Why are we are harshest critics?

Sandburg argues it is a woman thing. Now, I am not sure I buy that but I do believe it is true that women beat themselves up more often than they give themselves forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be hard, especially when you have to forgive yourself. But, if we just take a moment and breathe, talk with a really good friend or advisor, a path can be developed.

You are your own biggest critic. Don’t let that stop you for reaching what you deserve.

By the way, the woman featured in the WSJ article went on to run her own business line in that company. With the support of her colleagues and quieting her self-talk she is thriving.

So I want to know.

Is your self-talk negative or have you found a way to retrain those conversations?

Humanism Award: Recognizing Elio Arrechea

When the Newark Beth Israel Medical Center was sold to Saint Barnabas Health System in 1996, the money from that sale established The HealthCare Foundation of NJ, a foundation dedicated to improving healthcare for vulnerable populations in greater Newark and the Jewish community.

A portion of this foundation fund created the Lester Z. Lieberman Humanism in Healthcare Award, an award that recognizes a healthcare staff on the front line who – in addition to being a skilled clinician – demonstrates and lives the value of always treating patients with respect.

You may a recall a recent email where we shared the wonderful news that our very own Elio Arrechea will be recognized this year. We were thrilled to hear this, and are so proud that he is being

recognized.

Elio fits this award to a tee! He is a highly skilled clinician who always finds a way to support the children he cares for, his colleagues, our hospital as a whole, and the broader community with a sense of respect and purpose.

In the long list of skills that Elio has, one that I am in awe of is his master of Code Green. Let me explain.

These situations are never easy, or the code wouldn’t have been called in the first place! I remember reading an event report that Elio was involved in. The descriptions that everyone shared of Elio’s actions had a common theme of phrases like “Elio sat on the ground with the child and quietly began to speak to him” or “Elio was able to calm him and redirect the child to a safe place to regain composure” or “Elio ensured that Mom was safe and felt that she was not at risk.”

In addition, Elio often volunteers with his own children at Children’s Specialized Hospital events. The care and tenderness that he has with our children is mirrored with his own children. It’s heartwarming to see his children interact respectfully with the children we care for, treating them as friends instead of focusing on their medical frailty.

We are all so proud of Elio for being recognized and proud that he is part of the Children’s Specialized Family.

Elio will be honored with the Lester Z. Lieberman Humanism in Healthcare Award this coming Monday, July 20 at 5:15 pm at the Crystal Plaza in Livingston. Since we all can’t attend the ceremony (as much as we’d like to I’m sure), let’s share our congratulations with him on Give a WOW!

Summer reading, had me a blast

Summer reading reminds of Miss Hawk’s third grade class, when she told us we had to read over the summer or we would fall behind in fourth grade.

I got a “U” for unsatisfactory in cursive handwriting in third grade. So, I was already traumatized, and the reading list did me in. I don’t remember what we read but I know I finished it the first week we were on vacation.

There is something relaxing about reading a book, especially when you’re relaxing on the beach. So, over four decades later I still select books to read over the summer so I don’t fall behind.

I know, you won’t be shocked – since I am your resident nerd – but some of the books I have read (and are sharing with you today) are work related.

The three books that are in my nerd category are:

1. The Oz Principle
2. Talk Like Ted
3. Do the KIND Thing

The Oz Principle was given to me by a former Children’s Specialized Hospital employee who thought I would enjoy it. It is all about challenging your beliefs about individual and organizational accountability.

Talk Like Ted is about the secrets of public speaking. Although I do a lot of public speaking, the State Chamber Chair will require me to speak to groups outside of health care. So, this book will definitely help me step up my game.

Do the KIND Thing is written by the Founder and CEO of KIND, the company that makes those incredible granola bars. The thing that caught me about this book is not only that I love those little bars but the cover had the following words in a circle “Think Boundlessly, Work Purposefully, and Live Passionately.”

That was it! I was in. See after turning the age of 50, I have started to wonder: I know I work hard and am always busy, but am I truly paying attention to all aspects of my life? I don’t think it is possible to run full throttle in all areas at the same time, but I don’t want to wake up at the age of 60 and say, “Where the heck did the last decade go????”

I’m a pretty frequent customer of Amazon, so I went to the site to check out their summer reading list to add a little FUN to my summer reading.

My first Kindle purchase this season was The Vacationers. It’s a story of a family vacation to celebrate the parents’ 35^th wedding anniversary. It seems interesting but the cover caught my eye, so I’ll let you know when I’m done how it was.

My second purchase was Beautiful Ruins because it is set in Italy and that is where I celebrated my BIG birthday last year. 

On my radar for later in the summer is Sue Grafton’s new book X. It comes out on August 25 and I am impatiently waiting for the launch!

Since the summer months are in full swing, I’m going to need some recommendations. So, what are you reading this summer, and why?

Also, if anyone wants to borrow the Janet Evanovich hard cover books with Stephanie Plum – I think I have almost all of them!!! I am always in for a good book swap! 

A culture of accountability

In 2012, one of the nurses in New Brunswick came to me and said she was taking a job with one of our competitors because she heard we were going to charge the staff for parking.

I was upset for two reasons. First, because this meant we were losing a great nurse; second, because she had made her decision based upon a rumor that wasn’t true.

When I asked her why she didn’t come to me to ask about the parking rumor, she told me she didn’t feel like she had a vehicle to ask.

Thus began the Question & Answer feature on our Intranet.

You know the expression; the road to hell is paved with good intentions? The meaning behind the expression is that sometimes good intentions may have unforeseen negative consequences.

Let me explain.

The good intention was to allow the staff to submit questions anonymously – a rumor they heard, a change that may have left someone upset, or even a question they felt silly asking.

But over the years, the questions have gone from curious to hostile in some cases. The Q&A feature has turned from a place for clarification to a place for venting. Let’s be real here, some of the questions submitted would never be asked in the same tone if a name was required to post. Right?

Over the last few years the Question & Answer platform has begun to undermine communication at the local level between the employee and the manager.

In addition, this communication tool enables staff to not live up to of our Service Excellence Standard to “resolve concerns respectfully and directly with the person involved.”

The Question & Answer channel remains an important tool for people to ask questions they want answers to, and for other staff to peak on and become informed. 

Effective Today, July 6, your name will now be printed with the question you submit. 

When I announced this change at a recent Leadership Learning Retreat, people applauded. When I asked later for why the strong reaction – the answer was that it undermines everything we are trying to do in reference to people owning their concerns and dealing directly when there are issues.

So here is the reminder – you are always welcome to e-mail me directly. I will have to engage others to answer the questions at times because I can’t know everything, but I will work to ensure that rumors continue to be answered and people have a forum to ask their questions.

Thank you for allowing the process to continually evolve and for us all to grow and improve.

Here today, Kale tomorrow

Let me just tell you, this article made me laugh out loud. Can you picture it? I’m sitting on a plane, reading an article to myself, laughing hysterically.

The article is about fads, by definition: an intense and widely shared enthusiasm for something, especially one that is short-lived and without basis in the object’s qualities; a craze.

Reading it made me reflect back on fads that I have experienced, and the fads that may be present in my life today. The article focuses on food, so let’s talk food!

Starbucks, bottled water, and prepared foods are perfect examples for me. It boggles my mind why someone would spend $5 for a fancy cup of coffee when you could buy the same coffee in a 1-lb bag? It also pains me to spend $10 for prepared spaghetti in red sauce at a restaurant when I could make the same thing at home for less money and in 10 minutes! 

As a child I remember drinking Tang. Now, I’m sure some of you weren't even born when Tang was created, but it was the powdered drink that they took into outer space. When I was around the age of 4 I LOVED the orange color, so naturally that meant I loved the drink too.

Tang is long gone, but today adding powders or flavors to your water is a constantly evolving and thriving business.

When I was little, my mother used to tell me about her favorite childhood memory of enjoying an Egg Cream. I don't think I have ever had one, but she’s told me it is in the ice cream family. It is with a combination of beaten eggs, vanilla, and very cold milk.

Another thing that fascinates me today is the stuff people put on their pizza. Now, pizza itself was a big deal when it was introduced in the United States with the wave of immigrants from Europe. However, I can safely bet you they weren't putting pineapple and ham on those babies back in Rome!

From Paleo to carb heavy, sugar-free to high fructose corn syrup we will always see fads in our diets. People trying “the next best thing” to satisfy a craving to help them be healthier.

So, I want to know, what food fad did you enjoy? Did it past the test of time and is still around today?