True friends leave paw prints on your heart

I recently read an opinion article published in The New York Times titled “My Mother’s Shadow.” As I was reading it, I cried.

If you have read any of my blog posts over the years or even seen me at a Children’s Specialized Hospital event, you know it’s not uncommon for me to get emotional about certain things. So I guess it’s not really a surprise that this article really tugged on my heart strings.

The article is about the relationships that are built between humans and their pets. It has long been reported as one of the most important relationships that people can have in their lifetime. The bond between human and animal is more than just owner and pet. There is a deep, emotional tie between people and their pets.

As a child, I always had either a dog or cat, usually both. I had a Siamese cat, Cracker, for my first 17 years of life. She was the meanest, but most beautiful cat you ever met. She would religiously sleep with me at night, which was coincidentally the only time she wasn’t scratching or biting me!

My parents, myself, and Cracker.

I loved that cat so much, and when she took her last breath, the heaviness in my heart was matched only by the devastation I felt emotionally. I have not owned another cat since.

I have had multiple dogs over the years. Bow Wow, Tangerine, Brandy, and my last dog Kahlua.

Bow Wow was a mutt who actually roamed around the neighborhood. Apparently each family in our neighborhood had a different name for him. The people across the street called him “Freddy,” for “Freddy the Freeloader.” We all set food out for Bow Wow and wherever he happened to be when the sun set was the porch he would stay on for the night.

Tangerine was a Golden Retriever and I adored her. She was terribly overweight but a wonderful soul. When Cracker (the Siamese cat) had kittens, she would put them between Tangerine’s front paws, and they would all stay within both of their reach. When she passed, I got an Irish setter, Brandy, who unfortunately died of a rare blood condition.

My parents, myself, and Brandy.

My last dog, Kahlua, was a chocolate Labrador Retriever. I had cared for Kahlua’s mother when I was in college and was so anxious to find a chocolate female of my own. When she had a litter, I was hopeful one would be a female and I could bring her home. Out of a litter of 11 puppies, there were 6 yellow and 5 chocolate labs, but only one female. She was destined to be mine.

Kahlua was a great dog. When you hear that dogs take on their owner’s personalities, it was definitely true for Ms. Kahlua. She was fiercely loyal and very high strung.

At the end of the night she would fall dead asleep, but instantly be up again raring to go a mile a minute. During my divorce, I am certain I would not have seen my way through had it not been for her constant companionship. Well, her and a good therapist!

When Kahlua’s back legs finally gave out – something common in Labradors, – I knew it was time. She was in terrible pain, and I couldn’t bear to watch her struggle anymore. That decision still goes down as one of the hardest things I ever did. Her ashes are buried at my parents’ house next to Bow Wow, Tangerine, and Brandy. 

Once she was gone, I could never bring myself to get another. The pain was just too hard.

I am not sure what that says about me – that for as much joy each pet has brought me I can’t see myself owning another. With my schedule now, I can rationalize that I am out sometimes six nights a week for work, and it honestly wouldn’t be fair to them to be home alone most of the time. I often wondered whether it says more that as much as I loved them, I wasn’t willing to risk that loss again.

I know we have a lot of animal lovers out there. I’d love it if you would share your pet story in the comments below.