Random Acts of Kindness

So I know you all have cringed, more than once, when I have done an employee meeting and may have let a curse word slip in because of my passion about whatever the topic was. Believe it or not, even with my many slips (we’re all human), I am actually a devoutly religious person and work hard to listen to the sermons each week and try and be a better person.

At the start of Advent, Mother Karin, my priest in the parish I have belonged to for 44 years, gave a sermon on doing random acts of kindness. Not the typical nice things that you would always do: open a door, write a thank you note, but something that just comes upon you, presents itself when you least expect it. I have worked hard to do one random act of kindness every day since that Sunday and I must tell you that I am struck by two things. One how surprised people are when you do that unexpected thing and secondly how good it makes me feel to do it. For no other reason than it brought joy to someone else. Now these are not huge things - I am not talking about changing the world, but just a little something. I took chicken soup to a sick friend. I sent a get well card to my friend's Mom. I bought a strangers dinner when I heard them say had just got engaged.

So, it’s no surprise that when I found out that next week is national Random Acts of Kindness Week (Feb. 10-16.) I thought this would be a prefect opportunity to ask you to share things you have done or seen your colleagues do for others. One reason is because this weather is wearing me out and we could all use a little pick me up. The second is it really is wonderful to hear all the amazing things that happen here. Share your stories, photos, videos and ideas on our blog (http://childrens-specialized.blogspot.com) or with me personally and I will share with everyone, if you want.

Random Acts of Kindness do not have to be grand gestures. Here are a few ideas to get you mind thinking…

- Compliment the first 10 people you talk to
- Buy the person behind you at the coffee line their morning coffee
- Leave encouraging sticky notes around your office
- Tell someone how glad you are they work with you
- Bake cookies & share with your coworkers
- Give directions to someone who is lost
- Be patient and support someone who is having difficulty learning
- Laugh out loud, and laugh often, share your smile generously

It's The Most Wonderful Time at Children's Specialized

So it is not news that I am often brought to tears by our kids’ accomplishments and your amazing compassion. For whatever reason, at the CSH events this year, the random acts of kindness have just been overwhelming to me and yes brought me to tears of joy.

I would like to share some of the examples that I have had a chance to observe, or learn about, and would ask you to add any that you might know about. 

As Nicole Fulmino and I watched our CMN Champion, Michael Wight, walk to the WOBM Radiothon without his walker and holding his mother's hand for love, not support, I was overwhelmed at how much progress he has made from his original time in Mountainside in 2007.

Watching the nursing and therapy staff in New Brunswick making sure each child has the perfect picture with Santa and Mrs. Claus, even those children with no family members with them, the staff stepped in to make sure they knew they were loved and supported.

Carol Spera, (PCT NB), asked one of our PSEG volunteers if she could borrow her elf hat so our inpatient who is recovering from a TBI would have his head covered for his picture with Santa

The mom who told her story about walking into the Quick Peak session at the Newark Library and without an appointment, Amy Norton (Autism Program) found a way to make it all work out and then led Mom through her journey of accepting her son's diagnosis of Autism. The connection she felt to Amy and all of the staff about the support you gave her family was evident.

A day of volunteering turned into a day of work for Phil Corletta (Facilities TR) and his son when the snow starting coming down during the Holiday Express concert at Stevens Road.

Knowing that all of the Recreation Therapy and Child Life staff ensures that our children have all the gifts they need for the holidays - specific to each child, even though none of their own personal shopping is done.

Or in Mountainside when the Holiday Express dedicated the new Lady Antebellum song Compass to the staff - there is one line in the song that says "No matter where, you so let your heart sweetheart be your compass when you're lost, And you should follow it wherever it may go, When it's all said and done you can walk instead of run, 'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone, Never be alone, Never be alone

So what about you? Has there been something particularly poignant that you would like to share? Or something fun that brought laughter?

Please know that we are so thankful for all you to do make the holiday season so special for our kids.

Amy

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Maybe it’s because my family hosted it every year. We had a house full and my mom put out all of the best china, and fancy glasses let alone the great food. My cousins would come over and we would build forts out of the pillows in the living room until the "men" came in to watch football.

Yes, day in and day out, I feel the pressure of the things that aren't working as they should, but just taking that moment to identify the good things makes me feel a little lighter.

What’s on my list of things I’m thankful for?  My parents both being here in good health and happy; great friends; a church that brings me joy and perspective; good health; a job that has become my heart and soul; and the chance to work with each of you. Even when you are frustrated with me, yes I can see it on your faces and read your minds sometimes :-), I learn from you and you push me to be a better member of this family at Children’s Specialized. 

So what is on your list? Anything you would be willing to share that could help you feel lighter and share the joy you feel with others and have a little more insight into the things that matter most to you?

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones. My deepest thanks for all you give and do for your Children's Specialized family.

Pride and Joy

Last weekend, I traveled back to college for the Alabama LSU football game. It seems like a lifetime ago since 1987, when I left Tuscaloosa Alabama. Coming back 25 plus years later, I was asked a lot about each of you and the work that we do. Every time I spoke about the opportunity we have been given to care for these amazing children, they saw the sparkle in my eye and the pride of being let into families lives when they need us most. 

I told the story about our patient who literally asked a Congressman after his visit "where's the cash?" Because I had told her he was giving us money after he read us a story. Or the look on the face of a young man after he rode a horse for the first time after suffering a TBI, or watching graduates of Friday Night Fever taking on the role of leader or the many times we stood together at viewings and funerals to grieve the loss of a colleague or their loss of a loved one. Each and every story showed the love in my heart and the privilege I feel in being part of this organization.

I often receive little notes, or emails, or are stopped in the hallway by many of you telling me stories about how working at Children’s Specialized has truly changed your life for the better. We often share inspirational stories about our patient success, I thought I might ask each of you to share your stories about the children and families you have worked with or even your colleagues who you have seen extend themselves.  Our “average length of stay” here with our staff is not that average.  Our staff tends to stick around, and for good reason!  I’m sure you all have some great stories. 

Let’s hear about making life long friends or even finding love here at work; or how you grew your career here – starting in dietary and moving up to nurse manager? How about a personal story about how employees truly supported you during a crisis?  Superstorm Sandy is a great example of how we rallied around each other.

The joy of telling our story over and over last weekend brought me such joy; I thought I would create the opportunity for each of you to share the great things that happen here, with our employees!

The Patient Patient

Have you ever thought about the definition of the word "patient?”  Because I am such a geek, I actually looked it up and this is what I found;

adjective: patient - able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious

noun: patient - a person receiving or registered to receive medical treatment.

The definition of the adjective made me laugh and then get uncomfortable because I am sure the origin of the word came from people having to wait to see their doctor! 

So here is my question to you - do specific terms/words or labels really matter?

Within the adults with disability movement, there has been a lot of debate, discussion, and change based on the "terms" The Association for Retarded Citizens is now the ARC. Instead of "disabled people" or "the disabled," people with disabilities have asked us to put the "person" first and not their disability.

Within the medical field, a discussion has begun about what it means to call someone "our patient."

Research has shown that how we live, what we eat, how we treat our bodies actually can influence our health outcomes to a greater extent then our DNA. Scientists will argue over how much, but the impact is there and I have seen numbers as high as 90% - as what you do to yourself vs. the genes you are given.

So if that is true, shouldn't the language being used in healthcare empower people to take control of their own health? Not to "accept or tolerate delays," as the definition of “patient” describes; but to proactively take control of their health and their bodies. The words we use and how we encourage people to activity participate in their care is a huge issue in pediatrics. When we talk about the patient - sometimes the best treatment is purely engaging the family in the care of their child. How are we "partnering" with parents and what are we doing?

Our efforts in patient and family centered care has been about developing that partnership. Finding ways to share clinical information and then providing a plan of care that will help the parent be part of the best outcome for their child. There is often much work that must be done outside our walls to get these amazing outcomes that have been achieved. You have inspired the families to dream of what is possible and be willing to put in the work to achieve, sometimes the impossible.   

You have heard me talk about the next wave of consumerism in healthcare. My parents wait for hours to see their doctors and hang on their every word. Conversely, I won’t wait 10 minutes and after the appointment I immediately go to the internet to check their diagnosis or treatment.  Think about how the use of technology is going to change the delivery of care. In the adult world, people now want the concierge service, access their physicians whenever they need them and they pay big bucks to do it. Telemedicine is not only being used in far away places to bring in specialists, but it is also being used on a "regular" basis for follow up visits and for people who are willing to pay for access.

I share all of this to ask you to think about how we might begin to meet the needs of the children who come to us seeking an enhanced experience and outcome.

Think about how the language we use impacts how families partner with us and also look for areas we should change right now - to make the rest of the world catch up to us.

While I don't know what the future looks like for healthcare, I know one thing for sure - it will be different than it is today. The need for quality outcomes combined with technology and the pressure to be much more efficient is definitely going to cause change. The only question is will we be driving that change or chasing others? The decision is ours.

Preparing for the Unthinkable

"Cop assisted suicide" - I have never heard that expression before and now I have heard it twice in one week. The first time I heard it was when the New Brunswick Detective was preparing us for an active shooter drill. Kevin Sullivan partnered with the New Brunswick Police Department to perform a simulation of a person entering our hospital that was armed and was shooting randomly. The police said the profile on these individuals is that they are looking to be killed in the middle of such a horrific act of them randomly killing people – hence the table “cop assisted suicide.” We took the drill very seriously and the staff did a magnificent job protecting our children and each other. When the code was called, staff responded very quickly and there was absolute silence on the floor as we waited for the code clear to be called. The police warned us that it could take hours for an all clear to be called because they would have to not only track down and neutralize the shooter, but also make sure there was only one shooter and not a group. As I woke this morning and heard the announcement that the Garden State Plaza was on lock down and they were searching for a shooter, I was immediately taken back to being on the second floor in New Brunswick, gathered in the eerie silence as we were waiting for the code clear to be called. The lock down in the mall began at 9:30 p.m. and by 3 a.m. all mall-goers were still locked inside. In writing this, we now know that the shooter took his own life and that there were no other injuries, while the police said he clearly had several opportunities to injure many more people. As I write this, the emotions I have are many. I am comforted knowing that we successfully completed the drill and we are better prepared than we were the week before. I am disheartened that the only way that this young man saw his way through whatever tortured him, is to cause this kind of panic and to ultimately take his own life. And then lastly my deep sadness over the night of fear and torment the people who were locked down and the families who waited for them must have felt. We must continue to prepare for those situations we pray will never happen. We also need to work to provide treatment for those who find themselves unable to find the words to ease their pain instead of resorting to violent acts of terror. If you feel compelled to share your comments, please do so. Any comments about participating in the drill; any feelings you have after hearing the news of the mall shooting – this blog is meant to be an open dialog and platform for sharing.

Trust

A national consulting agency's recent survey indicates that 40% of employees trust their boss.

Talk about stopping me in my tracks...this means 60% do not. Can you imagine what would happen if 60% of the parents who brought the children to us for treatment didn't "trust" us? Our jobs would be SO much harder. We can ring our hands about why this statistic exists or we all can take the "acknowledge it, own it, change it" approach.

Influenced by the last employee engagement survey and focus groups which were designed to learn more about your feedback, your senior leaders are working on how we can become better leaders, individually and as a team. We realize that to truly change our culture and make lasting improvements we have to “start at the top”.

Ok, stop the eye roll. You know how this works - change is a lot easier when your leaders are working together to address both organizational issues and team issues. And let me tell you, the work is personally hard! Not hard like learning how to talk and walk again, but hard because you have to "own" the things as a leader you bring to the table that affects your team and then find ways to address it to make improvements.

So, full disclosure here - For me my issues are around trust, once someone or something that I have invested in breaks my trust, it is very hard for me to trust again or reinvest in the same way. Usually it happens with the State or Insurance companies but it happens with individuals too. This gets in the way of getting the work done because I am constantly looking for ulterior motives. I wait to be disappointed again or even worse, find ways to work around people or issues. Because I am afraid of being disappointed I simply take the issue away from happening in the first place.And you know what? It takes a lot of energy that is not positive. And it doesn't bring out the best in me.

So what am I doing about this besides acknowledging it to 1200 people? I am taking it in steps. Being authentic with people and telling them when whatever the interaction that happened didn't feel right, or my perception of how it was going to go versus how it went didn’t match up. I am trying to talk through it - not stew in my own head but finding ways to discuss whatever the issue is.

This takes a leap of faith – a shift in my thinking about why something happened and most importantly, it requires trust that together we can move the organization forward in a more successful way than working separately.

All of us on the senior leadership team are working on how we lead individually and as a team - you will see the results of this work play out in many different ways through our employee engagement efforts, in direct response to your valuable input. New communication and feedback vehicles, more training and mentoring opportunities, and more thank you's for the great work done every day, consistently to stay on our journey to be the best we can be.

This work is not about a quick fix or the latest management book fads. Building trust through authentic listening and communication is a cornerstone to a positive culture. It takes time and focused effort to see the results but we are committed to taking this path together.

You will be hearing soon and regularly from Randy Blackmon, our employee engagement and service excellence officer, reviewing again the details of the last survey results, current and upcoming employee engagement efforts and how we are implementing improvements through our Operation Excellence performance model. The Engagement League (I see capes and super powers in our future- no really) have made a strong commitment to keep you better informed year round. Stay tuned.

Not sure if any of this resonates with you but if you have suggestions for me or the team, I would welcome your thoughts and suggestions. I will repost this on the blog so you can share your thoughts with your colleagues.