Have you ever read of those "Oh my god books?" The one that you think the author was actually looking in your head and stole your thoughts? My latest is, "What I know now" edited by Ellyn Spragins. This short read is a compilation of letters written by very successful women to themselves. They are writing at the point in time when they were most in need of advice. So the women, give that advice, in the form of a letter “to their younger self.”
This year, I will be 43. I remember that there was a time in my life - probably the age of many of you - that I thought 43 was SO OLD! Here is what I know now - the things I thought would literally prevent me from living the life I had all planned out - the toughest things - not having children, getting divorced, losing a job.
Here's what I know now - you live through all of it. Just like the kids who end up in our care - the worst things happen, the unthinkable and whether you want it or not - the sun is going to come up tomorrow. Always. And you will be left to have the courage to figure out whatever situation you are presented with. I wonder whether at 30, would the book have talked to me in the same way - I am not sure - some things only come with age. But if the book can talk to you and help you see what a tremendously wonderful person you are and how much you have to offer, whatever is going on in your personal and work life, then it is all good.
I highly recommend this book - it shows you great insight into some of the most amazing people of our time (Cokie Roberts, Queen Noor, Beverly Sills, Pikaboo Street and more) and shows you at their darkest moment - the thing they needed to remember was that they had more than they knew, and that they needed to listen to their inner voice.
I would love to know what you think of the book.
Have you ever had a “What I Know Now” moment you’d like to share?
Maybe a family move that changed everything for you?
Or maybe a life style change that catapulted you in a new direction?
10 comments:
I too once read a book that opened my eyes in such a way. The overall theme of the book (the name of which I cannot remember because it was so many years ago) was that "Courage is not given- it is lent to us when we most need it, to be returned to the ether for the next person's use, and comes back around to us when due."
It took a long time for me to decide to go back to school. I kept thinking about how long it would take and how much of life I would be missing out on in order to do well in my classes. I lingered on the fact that I would be over 30 by the time I finished, and how old that would be to start a career in nursing. Not to mention the financial concerns of how to pay for school and my mortgage and all of those things that go along with maintaining one's lifestyle.
Then one day it hit me- I realized that I was scared to try and fail. And I remembered that book I had once read in junior high. And I decided that the only thing I had to lose was an education, and that the longer I put it off, the older I would get and would still have nothing to show for it.
It finally dawned on me that as long as I made a committment to my decision, the courage and the means to complete my education would present themselves when needed most. And that is exactly what happened. I took out loans and worked/studied hard and got tax refunds when I most needed them and scholarships based on academic performance, etc...
Yes, I have had to give up so many things in order to get to where I am. But with only 1 more year of nursing school to go before I graduate, I can look back and honestly say that it was all worth it. Not only will I have a diploma that no one will ever be able to take away from me, but I will also enter into a career where I will be helping people. I don't know of anything that could make me feel better than that.
This sounds like an amazing book, and it is definitely going on my 'to-read' list. Thank you, Amy, for sharing 'what you know now.'
If I could have a 'what I know now moment' I'd go back to when I was 15 years old. I had just found out I had a form of Muscular Dystrophy but was in somewhat of a state of denial. It wasn't until I was reading a magazine article about a girl who was dating a boy with the EXACT same form of Muscular Dystrophy - Charcot Marie Tooth - that the uncertainty of my future health really hit me. The boy in the article walked with arm braces and leg braces. He looked very fragile. I began to panic. It began a time in my life when I was very scared. The battle with anxiety became worse then the battle with Muscular Dystrophy.
What I know now is, in a strange way, having Muscular Dystrophy has been an extremely postive thing in my life. It lead me to a career in the non-profit arena that I am very passionate about. I don't know where I would be in my life, if my parents hadn't decided to take me to the MDA telethon all those years ago to open my eyes. I saw that I was foolishly feeling sorry for myself, when there are others who have it so much worse than I do. I knew at that moment I was put on this earth to help other people. And I can think of no other place to do that, than right here at Children's Specialized.
It has been eleven years since I read that article. The good news is my condition is still much better than that of the young man who image frightened me so. I don't know what my future health holds - will I ever get that bad? Will I get worse? Once in a blue moon I will get a glimpse of that old anxiety. But as you said Amy, what I know now is, I will live through it and something extremely positive came out of it all. I will continue to hold on to that knowledge, come what may.
Thank you for letting me share.
Hmmn...an "Oh my God type of book"...that's a toughie. Oh yeah, Wisdom Of A Lifetime!! Here is some direct comments off the reviews on the website..."truly inspiring", "Exactly what I needed to read","Phenominal"
Linda Nordstrom wrote..."Honest, Helpful and Understandable"
What if, in the midst of your busy, day to day activities you could spend a few hours one evening and profoundly change yourself? What if a simple, easy to read book could cause you to think about life differently and provide you guidance to help those around you? What if, a quick peek into someone else’s personal world could provide you insight and emotional connections that you would carry with you for the rest of your life…The book is Wisdom Of A Lifetime and it's in our Hospital's Library. Go read it. Thanks. Joe Assante www.WisdomOfALifetime.com
As always Amy, you continually open up new areas to us so that we can interact and share information with each other.
The book sounds like something everyone would gain something from. Your 43 years seems like springtime to me, try 59, and add the statement "what I know now". I did not complete my college education, like Kelly, I thought that I did not have time to go back to school, my life was too full and trying to raise a family just didn't afford the time.
I am now a mother of three children and three grandchildren, in my spare time I am writing my own book (Miss Jaynie's Baby), teaching etiquette classes, doing some photography, occasionally being an MC, public poetry reader, singing in my church choir; not to mention giving CSH 8 hours Mon-Fri. My book is about my grandmother's life and accomplishments. It was originally started to preserve and pass on some of the old stories about her to my children and family and any other interested parties. Reviewing and reliving her life has given me great insight and with what I know now, has made me realize what a remarkable person she was and what she accomplished with virtually nothing.
I said all that to say this, “what I know now” is that life is wonderful and meant to be lived to its fullest regardless of your perceived failures or accomplishments. Looking forward, 80 and 90 years sound very old, and the journey to that point should be a blast, I can’t wait to get there because of what I know now!
Having lost my mom when she was 42 and my brother when he was 19, what I know now is that we should live life to the fullest each day as it could be our last. Sounds terrible to say but if you knew that it would be your last, don't you think you'd take the time to enjoy it more, take the time to thank someone who has made a difference in your life, hold your tongue because it really serves no purpose to yell at someone.
Live today like it's your last-----SMILE, make people wonder long after you're gone why you were always smiling. It's a legacy I'd like to have. I know this now.
What I know now … My senior year of college I lost eighty pounds – I was so healthy, energetic and couldn’t imagine living my life again as an obese person. My confidence was through the roof and no one could get in my way. Well – along came a new boy friend, then a marriage, then a house and I’m right back to where I started, eighty pounds heavier. I am truly encouraged by these stories of perseverance and sharing my story helped me remember my “What I Know Now” life lesson – life is too precious to be unhealthy.
WOW! My deepest thanks to all of you for your postings and sharing what both personal and professional courage you have exhibited. Your stories are a wonderful reminder to all of us about the importance of loved ones, taking care of ourselves and finding that inner courage to risk in order to fulfill your dreams.
My goal in this posting and the suggestion of the book is that it will also help those that are feeling that they are not doing enough, or not doing it well enough, to remember that as long as you are giving your all, the rest will fall in place.
I will certainly be picking up this book.
I also have had a "wow" moment relating to how I see the world and myself. I lost my parents young and then lost my sister not so long ago who left behind 4 young kids that I am now helping out with along with my own 2. Not long after that I embarked on a battle to find out why they died and after much research, long treks to specialists, fights with the insurance company, etc. I realized that my brother and I ( as well as the kids) are also at risk with a genetic arrythmia resulting in my implantation of a difribrillator. People kept saying that "God won't give you more than you can handle" and I would just want to scream at them and say how can I handle all of this. My moment came when I realized that God doesn't give us what we can handle...God helps us handle what we are given.
Huge difference and life altering perspective. I know now that I have the strength and courage to deal with what comes to me as well as the true love of life necessary to wake up and smile at the each and every day.
Remember a quote by Albert Camus.."In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer".
Again, I am overwhelmed with all that you have shared. I wanted to make sure that I reminded people that we do have a very good Employee Assistance Program that can help with life struggles, both the challenges of weight loss, stress and any other issues that come up and it is FREE!. It is a resource that is available to you so you don’t have to take these things on alone. Contact Dana Pettiford in HR for more information.
In addition, some of you may have seen the piece in Children's Chatter last month, our Fanwood School employees have lost over 200 lbs by supporting each other in their effort to lose weight and made it fun. Maybe there is someone else in the area you work who would be willing to lose weight too. Having someone to help us through any of the things we try and conquer always seems to make it easier. My best wishes to all of us as we have the courage to face the challenges life presents us with.
This line of conversation seems to be a theme lately! At a family party, my sister-in-law started talking about Mitch Albom's books and everyone had different interesting perspectives about life events. A fellow student asked me to include an entry in a book she's writing for women with tips and advice for surviving your first years as an independent woman. And then there's this blog entry. I guess I should take the hint and share my thoughts.
What I Know Now is that there are countless moments that have added up to what we each know now. What I Know Now is to always appreciate every experience you have, good or bad, no matter how much or how little it changes you, and to take the time to reflect on how you can make the most of every choice life gives you. What I Know Now is, like Amy said, you live through all of it and the sun is shining, even when we can't see it.
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